Episode 147

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Published on:

14th Aug 2024

How to Fight About Money Without Ruining a Relationship | E147 Allie Volpe

There are going to be differences. And these differences are what lead to disagreements.

Imagine a scenario where you and your friends are booking an Airbnb for an upcoming trip. The group isn’t progressing, and you can tell by the tone people are getting frustrated. Half of the group wants a cheap option while the other half wants a nice place closer to the city center.

This kind of situation happens all of the time and if you zoom out, you can probably understand both perspectives. Someone might be trying to pay off their credit card debt, or student loans, or saving for an upcoming wedding but wants to go on the trip if it can fit within their budget. Another person might be buried in work and this is one of the few weeks they have gotten to take off and enjoy. Spending an extra couple of hundred dollars is worth it to them if it means the weekend turns from a good time to an unforgettable trip with their friends.

At the end of the day, both people want to spend time with their friends but there is conflict because they have other goals that need to fit into their plans. This is messy.

Layer on the fact that people make different amounts of money and that our upbringing makes us value money differently, you can see why these aren’t always straightforward decisions.

It’s not just friends either. These kinds of situations happen with our partners, family members, roommates, and more.

So how do we discuss money with these important people in our lives? And how do we stand up for ourselves whenever we are being asked to do something we don’t want to do?

Well, that’s why I interviewed Allie Volpe today. Allie is a senior reporter for Vox and recently covered a story on how to fight without ruining a relationship. The headline immediately caught my attention as I think this topic isn’t discussed enough in personal finance.

If you’re pursuing financial independence, you are probably aggressively saving or at least very aware of how you’re spending your money. There will be moments when you’ll have to make a decision and have an awkward conversation about money with someone close to you. Allie is going to be sharing language you can use during these situations, mistakes to avoid, and what to do whenever you just can’t see eye to eye.

Key Takeaways:

  • The difference between a good fight and a bad fight
  • Mistakes people make in an argument that leave the other side feeling terrible
  • Questions to ask to get to the root of what you’re really arguing about
  • How to listen and make someone feel heard
  • How to get to a compromise
  • Ways to handle your emotions whenever you’re getting upset
  • What to do if you can’t see eye to eye


More of Allie:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/allieevolpe


More of The Struggle is Real:

Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/

Connect with Justin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinleepeters/

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About the Podcast

FI Minded: Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Achieve Financial Independence & Have Fun Doing It
Want to achieve Financial Independence (FI) without missing out on life?

FI Minded is the podcast for anyone seeking financial freedom, time freedom, and a work-optional lifestyle — all while enjoying the journey along the way.

Whether you’re at the beginning of your FI journey or already deep into Coast FI or Slow FI, this show gives you practical strategies and insights to reach early retirement and design a life that aligns with your values, purpose, and fulfillment.

Popular topics include:
- FI Optimization Strategies: Actionable advice to reach Financial Independence faster without unnecessary stress.
- Work Optional & Lifestyle Design: How to transition from the corporate grind and build a life of freedom, flexibility, and intentional living.
- Time Freedom & Coast FI: Making the most of your time while still planning for the future, including mini-retirements, travel, and other ways to enjoy your life now.
- Post-FI Identity & Purpose: What to do once you’ve achieved FI, and how to create meaning beyond money.
- Burnout & Balance: Avoid the pitfalls of over-optimization and learn to balance saving for the future with mental health and happiness.

If you want to reach financial independence, design a life that’s purposeful and fun, and avoid burnout along the way, FI Minded is your guide to building a sustainable, fulfilling, and free life.

Some of our past guests include Carl Jensen (1500 Days), Jeremy Schneider (Personal Finance Club), Nick Loper (Side Hustle Show), Andrew Giancola (The Personal Finance Podcast), Jordan Grumet (Earn & Invest), Rachael Camp (Work Optional), Jillian Johnsrud (Retire Often), Sean Mullaney (FI Tax Guy), Jill Sirianni (Frugal Friends), Jackie Cummings-Koski (Catching Up to FI), Joel Larsgaard (How to Money), Cody Garrett (Measure Twice), Jesse Cramer (Personal Finance for Long-Term Investors), Jess (The Fioneers), Chris Hutchins (All The Hacks), Diania Merriam (EconoMe), and many more inspiring voices in the FI space.
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